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“Don’t worry about the rent being a few days late.”
“Just text me if anything goes wrong.”
“We don’t need an inventory – I know you’ll look after it.”
When you're letting a property to a friend or family member, these things can feel perfectly reasonable.
After all, this isn't a stranger you've met through a property advert.
It's somebody you know.
Somebody you trust.
And that's precisely why it can become complicated.
Renting a property to somebody you have a personal relationship with can work extremely well. But the more informal the arrangement becomes, the harder it can sometimes be to separate being a landlord from being a friend, parent, sibling or relative.
A little professionalism at the beginning can save some very uncomfortable conversations later.
The problem isn't trust
Let's get this out of the way first.
Having a tenancy agreement, inventory and proper processes doesn't mean you're expecting something to go wrong.
And it certainly doesn't mean you don't trust the person moving into your property.
Good tenancy management is about making sure everybody understands the arrangement.
Think about something as simple as rent.
Perhaps you've agreed to charge a family member less than you would normally achieve on the open market.
That's absolutely your decision.
But is that reduced rent intended to last for the entire tenancy?
Is it temporary while they get back on their feet?
Will it be reviewed?
If you've never properly discussed it, you and your tenant could have two completely different expectations.
Neither person has necessarily done anything wrong.
The problem is that something important was never clearly agreed.
Would you treat another tenant differently?
This is a useful question for landlords to ask themselves.
If you were letting the property to somebody you'd never met before, would you:
Carry out referencing?
Use proper tenancy documentation?
Take and deal appropriately with a deposit?
Prepare an inventory?
Keep records?
Set out how repairs should be reported?
Make sure the relevant landlord responsibilities were being dealt with?
If the answer is yes, why would you remove those safeguards because you know the tenant?
They don't just protect you as the landlord.
They help protect the tenant too.
Memories aren't as reliable as we think
Imagine you've rented your property to a friend.
A year later, they're preparing to move out and there's a mark on the flooring.
You remember it being immaculate.
They are absolutely certain the mark was already there.
Who's right?
Without a good inventory and appropriate records, that can be surprisingly difficult to establish.
Now you're not simply dealing with a property issue.
You're disagreeing with a friend.
The same applies to furniture, decoration, gardens, appliances and other aspects of the property's condition.
Good documentation removes some of the emotion from those conversations.
Instead of:
“I'm sure that wasn't like that.”
you have a record of what was actually there.
Repairs shouldn't wait until Sunday lunch
Personal relationships can also make tenants reluctant to report problems.
Your friend notices a small leak but doesn't want to bother you.
Your daughter spots some damp but thinks she'll mention it next time she sees you.
Your relative tries to fix something themselves because they don't want you paying for a contractor.
Their intentions may be perfectly good.
Unfortunately, buildings don't particularly care about good intentions.
Small maintenance issues can become much larger ones if they're left unresolved.
Tenants should have a clear way to report problems and know that they aren't being a nuisance by doing so.
That's easier when maintenance is treated as part of the tenancy rather than something to bring up when you next happen to see each other socially.
Late rent becomes a very different conversation
Imagine your tenant phones and says they're struggling this month.
If they're somebody you care about, your instinct may naturally be to help.
There is nothing wrong with compassion.
The difficulty comes when an informal exception quietly becomes the new arrangement.
One late payment becomes two.
You don't want to bring it up because you know they're having a difficult time.
They don't mention it because they're embarrassed.
Before long, there's a financial problem sitting in the middle of a personal relationship.
Clear processes won't prevent every difficulty, but they can make expectations easier to understand from the beginning.
What happens when you want something to change?
Perhaps the arrangement works wonderfully for several years.
Then your circumstances change.
Maybe you decide to sell the property.
Perhaps you need to reconsider what you're doing with it.
Or your tenant's circumstances change and they decide to move elsewhere.
Whatever happens, the fact that you know each other personally doesn't remove the need to manage the tenancy properly.
This is another reason why starting professionally is usually easier than trying to introduce formality halfway through.
It's much harder to say:
“From now on, we're going to start doing everything properly.”
than to have clear processes from day one.
Sometimes a little distance helps
This is where professional property management can be particularly useful.
When a property is managed by somebody independent, your tenant doesn't necessarily have to contact you personally every time the tap leaks or something needs repairing.
Rent and tenancy administration don't have to become conversations between friends.
Property visits can be approached as a normal part of managing the home rather than something that feels personally intrusive.
And if a difficult conversation is needed, there's a professional process around it.
It creates a little separation between:
the person who owns the property
and
the person they have a relationship with outside the tenancy.
For some landlords, that distance can be incredibly valuable.
Professional doesn't mean unfriendly
There's a misconception that formalising an arrangement somehow makes it colder.
We'd argue the opposite.
Clear expectations can give both sides confidence.
Your tenant knows where they stand.
You know where you stand.
Repairs have a proper route.
Important information is recorded.
Responsibilities are understood.
And you're less likely to find yourselves arguing months later about what somebody vaguely remembers agreeing over a cup of coffee.
Protect the tenancy – and the relationship
Letting a property to somebody you know doesn't have to be problematic.
Far from it.
A friend or family member could be an excellent tenant, and the arrangement may suit everybody perfectly.
The important thing is not to assume that because the relationship is personal, the tenancy should be informal.
Treat it as you would any other tenancy.
Put the right documentation in place.
Keep good records.
Make responsibilities clear.
Have proper processes for rent, repairs and property management.
And if you'd rather not be the person having every landlord-and-tenant conversation yourself, consider putting some professional distance between the two.
At Love Your Let, we help landlords manage the practical side of renting out their properties – from tenancy administration and maintenance to ongoing property management.
Because sometimes the best way to look after a personal relationship is to make sure the tenancy sitting alongside it is managed professionally.